Going to College During a Pandemic

Though the numbers are only preliminary, already the data doesn’t look very good.  Fewer students will be returning to the universities this fall and the majority of institutions of higher learning are in a panic.  While the Ivy League schools are not worried—they have more applicants than they can admit (as well as large endowments)—public colleges depend on high enrollments to defray their costs.  And while public universities depend on state budgets for their base support, the revenue from student tuition is very important.

Students, however, are increasingly staying away because of the rising costs of tuition and books.  Suddenly, a lifetime of debt to repay the cost of a degree in Art History (my current major) doesn’t sound quite as attractive as it once was.  The cost of obtaining some university degrees far exceeds the average salary of any likely employment in that specialty.

I once showed a class of graduate history students a slide depicting the current salaries of faculty at junior colleges across the United States.  The horrified looks on their faces were exactly what you would expect if you told a group of kindergarten students that their parents had killed Santa Claus by beating him to death with the Easter Bunny. 

I have two quick solutions for this problem:  First, every university should be required to post statistics about how many of its graduates find employment in the field of their major and what their average income is.  This is similar to the crime statistics that the federal government already requires universities to publish.  Second, those greedy universities so eager to help students obtain the massive student loans that will later cripple their economic lives, should be required to cosign those loans.

Many students may just decide to sit out what will likely be a problematic year.  Recent surveys of graduating high school seniors show a record low number of students who plan on continuing their education.  Other surveys show a rise in the number of students planning a gap year before enrolling in college.  No one knows yet how many students will decide to wait out the pandemic by staying at home and skipping one or more semesters.

This coming year promises to be particularly difficult for Enema U.  Our state coffers are highly dependent on oil revenue, which has not only dried up, but is in danger of blowing away.  Already a state notoriously unfriendly (read that as “hostile”) towards business, because of an extended (though necessary) quarantine, it is likely to suffer an economic recession that will drastically reduce tax revenues and cause even greater unemployment.  It is inevitable that state budgets will be cut, and, if history is any guide, education budgets will not be spared.

The universities are already hurting.  As I write this, the entire university is teaching all of its classes online—a relatively poor method of teaching, at best—and even some of the best faculty members have little experience in this method.  (You can imagine the Herculean task of trying to teach a lab course online). 

Note.  I don’t know what is going on in the rest of the university, but I can tell you that the example set by the Art Department in carrying on in spite of the difficulties is inspiring.  One of my current classes is a lab course in conservation, and my instructor has done more than humanly possible to maintain the high quality of her excellent class.  All of the instructors, as well as the departmental secretary, have done the almost impossible—teaching art online.

Students are evidently and understandably a little skeptical about returning for the fall semester.  No one knows whether the dorms will be open or whether students will be able to use the labs and the libraries.  Will the school be able to hold sporting events and, if so, will the students be allowed to attend the games?  Will all the classes be online?  How many classes will be cancelled for lack of students?

Already, there are changes:  Graduation ceremonies for the spring have been cancelled, as are all festivities associated with them.  While a graduating student can still purchase a cap and gown—God alone knows why student would want to—it will have to be shipped as the campus bookstore remains closed for the foreseeable future.

The campus is something of a ghost town.  You can see a few people wandering around, but no one is allowed in most of the buildings without a pass.  Few faculty have seen their offices in less than several weeks.

In light of this ongoing crisis, the university regents of Enema U met and discussed the current problems, and then weighed and balanced the various avenues still open to them.  How can the school attract more students and support the faculty in its quest to deliver quality education?  What leadership role should Enema U play in the ongoing pandemic?

After lengthy debate, the regents reached a unanimous solution:  They raised tuition by the maximum allowable percentage.  Period.